That Was a Crazy Night

So I had a few friends over last night to watch the NBA Finals. The problem was: the Finals don't begin until tonight. Memorial Day completely screwed me up. And I'm an idiot. So, instead, we watched the Brewers handle the Marlins, 7-4. But we were absolutely flabbergasted by the discussion Brian Anderson was having in the top of the 7th. There isn't anything posted on youtube or mentioned in any of the articles I've read, so allow me to summarize what transpired in the booth when Gallardo came up to bat:

Anderson: "You know, they're bringing Yovani back to pitch in the bottom of the 7th. He's just the kind of pitcher who could knock one out of here and tie this game up. He's done everything else tonight." Pitch to Gallardo. "And there's a drive. Way back. Home run!" /Lots of laughter from Schroeder and Anderson.

He freakin' called a home run by a pitcher. I shouldn't have to note how awesome that is.

Later, the game ends (Brewers win!) and what do we see? Immediate highlights of a blown perfect game by umpire Jim Joyce. Armando Galarraga was throwing a perfect game, with two outs in the 9th, when Jason Donald hit a slow grounder to first. The ball was handled by Miguel Cabrera and tossed to Galarraga for a seemingly routine last out in the third MLB perfect game in 24 days (there had been 18 in the history of baseball prior to May of this season). Nope. Joyce called the runner safe. The runner was decidedly not safe. After the game, Joyce apologized:

"It was the biggest call of my career, and I kicked the shit out of it. I just cost that kid a perfect game."

Yes, yes you did.

So, this was my night: My first NBA Finals "party" without having the Finals actually on. One of the most delightfully random announcer calls I've ever heard firsthand. A "this is too perfect to not be scripted for a movie" ending to a (non) perfect game. I love sports.

Can the Brewers Start Heating Up?

(Not Johan Santana)

The Milwaukee Brewers won their first home series since the first week of the season with a 4-3 win over the hapless Astros. And, yes, I'm aware that we only won because Rickie Weeks laid off ball 4 with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 10th. You know, if we had missed Oswalt's start, I think we would have had a sweep. In any event, the question now becomes: aberration, or the start of something good? Tonight, the Crew battle the Mets in the first game of the weekend home series. I encourage anyone in the Milwaukee area to get to the game tonight, as you probably won't see another pitching match-up as good as Santana v. Gallardo for the rest of the season. While Santana has lost a little velocity on his fastball, he still brings ace stuff. I expect a quick, low-scoring game. If the Brewers can pull this one off, look for the Crew to start their run back to .500 ball, as the pitching match-up favors the Crew on Saturday and is a wash on Sunday...

The Links

(Last night at Oberon's man cave)

While we continue to lose our will to live watching the Brewers this summer, we might as well check in on other Wisconsin sports news:

• Trevon Hughes worked out for the Bucks.
• The Badgers Men's Basketball team added a 6'-2" scoring guard out of Chicago to their recruiting class. Ben Brust averaged 25ppg his senior year and had five games of 40 points or more. He chose the Badgers over USC, so he may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer.
• The Badgers Men's Tennis team is having a great season.
• The Packers are trying Ryan Pickett at defensive end and Will Blackmon at safety.

And the Brewers lost for the ninth straight game yesterday. Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

Hebrewer

In Greek mythology, the Goddess Aphrodite was Angelina Jolie, Cintia Dicker, and Marissa Miller all rolled into one. She was so breathtakingly beautiful that all the other Gods feared jealously would interrupt the peace among them and lead to war. They couldn't have that, so Zeus (the original P.I.M.P.) married her to Hephaestus, a God who looked like this former Buck. Basically, her "reward" for being so GD hot was to marry an ogre. Well, Aphrodite wasn't havin' none o dat, if you catch my drift. She played around on Hephy, taking Ares, God of War, as her primary lover. It makes sense that the most beautiful thing in the Universe would bang the God of War, right? But Aphrodite wasn't satisfied with just the God of War, she needed to get with a tasty little piece of a certain mortal.

Adonis got all the girls hot and bothered like it was his job. Straight up metro before his time. Aphrodite couldn't resist him, even though he was a mortal. The famous sculpture, Adonis, stands in the Louvre. While the original artist is unknown, we know it was restored in the 17th century by Francois Duquesnoy. As you can see from the image above, it has, very recently, been updated.

The Hebrewer is MASHING this year. Current projections: Old school - .359/28/134; New school - .359/.437/1.018. He's also stolen 7 bases without getting caught (on-pace for 39). This is absurd. Taking a look at his splits, I really enjoyed this: he's been up 3-0 and 3-1 16 times this season. He's walked 16 times in those situations. That's plate discipline. For a guy making $1,287,500 from Mr. Anttanasio this year, it's almost criminal. So while we're hanging around like a stale fart at 13-16, our setup man's ERA is 9.26 and our closer's ERA is 10.64, at least we have one good reason to go to the games. OK, two.

Should We Overreact?

Trevor Hoffman has now appeared in 8 games this season. After last night's 7-3 loss to the Pirates, Mr. Hoffman has given up runs in 5 of those contests. He's also allowed 16 base runners and 12 runs in 8 innings of work. He is also 42. Rust or Gassed? We just don't know at this point.

One thing I do know is that Mr. Hoffman has only had one season since 2002 in which his ERA was over 2.98. And he was fantastic last year. He should get the benefit of the doubt.

Then again, we're in uncharted territory here. Mariano Rivera is still going strong, but he's *only* 40. Dennis Eckersly was closing games at 42, but his last season of "lights out" pitching was at 37. And Eck was 42 over a decade ago. Times change, and with that come advances in training (yoga/pilates) and medicine ("medicine"). We don't really know when Mr. Hoffman will drop off. Let's give him 20 more games and reevaluate then...

Say Goodbye to Prince

The Phillies just signed Ryan Howard to a massive 5 year, $125 million extension. If that set the market, we should enjoy the ride of HeBrewer-Prince while it lasts...

Monday Morning Hangover

(where we check in on all the relevant Wisconsin Sports News from the weekend)

Bucks 92, Hawks 102: Mr. Jennings put up the 4th highest scoring total by a rookie in his playoff debut, but it wasn't enough. The ESPN crawl said it all: Starting Frontcourts: Mil: 16 pts, 1 blk; Atl: 39 pts, 9 blks.

Brewers @ Nationals: 3-5, 0-8, 11-7. Since the Nats only averaged about 18k fans for these games, I'm not sure they even happened.

Badger Baseball Softball: 3-0, 1-5. The Lady Badgers split the weekend series with Purdue behind an electric performance by senior Letty Olivarez on Saturday. Letty couldn't keep the scoreless streak going as who the fuck cares.

Gallardo Inks Five-Year Deal

It's official. The Brewers now have an Opening Day starter through the 2014 season. Gallardo is guaranteed $30.1 million in the deal and could earn $42.5 million including an option for a sixth season in 2015.

With He-Brewer's extension lasting through 2015, Brewers fans now have two reasons to keep going to games for the next few years. When's quitting time? I'm ready to celebrate!

(photo via Sporting News)

The Yankees Are Douches

New York Yankees' President Randy (RANDI) Levine doesn't like anyone else complaining that MLB's signature team can spend real money while smaller market teams *cough, Brewers, cough* bitch about it.

Levine to The State of Wisconsin: Your Owner is a Whiner.

The State of Wisconsin to Levine: WE are the only ones who get to bitch about our owner! HOW DARE YOU?!!! How dare you, sir!?

Levine was responding to Mr. Attanasio's lament that the Crew was having a difficult time signing Prince Fielder to a long-term extension. Money quote:

"The question that should be asked is: Where has the hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue sharing gone?"

Indeed. Where have those "hundreds of millions of dollars" in revenue sharing gone? Or, as truth would have it, the $175 million paid by the Yankees in 7 years to multiple teams? Where has that gone? Why can't we get Prince for a fraction of 1.75 "hundreds of millions of dollars?"

I just stumbled across a reason to root for Bahhhston tonight...

(photo via Maybelline)

There's a hole in Bernie's arm where all the money goes

Worried you over-paid on your taxes? A quick look at the Brewers' 2010 payroll might put things in proper perspective. The Brewers spent more than $38 million combined on 6 players that aren't named Braun or Fielder (Suppan, Wolf, Hart, Riske, Bush, Hawkins).

Don't invite Yahoo! to your next swinger party

Carlos Gomez swings too much. That's the take away from Carlos Gomez's big opening day according to Yahoo!. Apparently, if you go 4 for 5 with 1 HR you lack patience. But that stolen base is sure something Yahoo! can get behind.

Something's Brewing...

Baseball is back. The country was treated to a slate of games yesterday in which the rest of the league was allowed to play. This followed an “Opening Night” that featured “THE ONLY TEAMS THAT MAHTTA.” Call me nonplussed.

Yesterday the games felt real again. No spring training. No made-for-TV-event (well, a little, I guess). These games counted. Fantasy baseball stats would begin to accumulate. And the Crew was on…

Where to start? Mr. Gallardo was solid, if not spectacular. That was the essence of a quality start. 109 pitches. 62 strikes. 7 innings of 4 run (3 earned), 7 hit, 2 walk ball. He struck out 5, threw one wild pitch, and served one up on a platter to Mr. Stewart. “WE CAN BUILD ON THIS!” I’ll take it, if only because we’re going to win more of those than we lose. Also, Mr. Gallardo was only off his usual early-season performance by a smidge, where he’s been straight cash the past two Aprils (3-1, 38.2 IP, 31 H, 12 ER, 2.79 ERA, 3/1 K/BB). So, no major concerns there.

But the offense. Ohhhhhh the offense. The top four of the order (Weeks, Gomez, He-Brewer, and Fielder) went 9-17 with a walk, 2 doubles and a HR. Fantastic. Batters five through nine (Edmonds, McGehee, Zaun – ZAUN? – Escobar, P/PH)? 3-20! Gah! I know it’s opening day. I know Mr. Jimenez has filthy stuff. But that’s unacceptable. And it was the difference in the game.

Will it continue? Yes. Yes it will. We suffered through uneven performances with the order last year. We’ll get more of the same this season. Mr. Escobar is not going to give us an .825 OBP. Mr. Zaun won’t get to .775. The key will be our RF and 3B production. Can Mr. Edmonds stay healthy? Will he remember how to rake? Who is his HGH contact and how can I help facilitate the transfers? Does he need clean urine (I’d ask around)? As for 3B, I’m counting down the days until Mr. Gamel comes back…

(photo via espn.com)