Madison, WI. State legislators voted unanimously to hold an emergency hearing tonight to prepare for the arrival of Marquette Mens Basketball's latest recruit. Lawmakers are concerned that there is simply not enough food in the state of Wisconsin to feed both Prince Fielder and the 295-pound recruit Davante Gardner."We thought we were in the clear when C.C. [Sabathia] went to the Yankees," said one lawmaker who requested to remain anonymous. "Now we are put in a difficult position. Either some soup kitchens close or our star athletes will need to slim down."
Lawmakers hope to reach a short-term agreement on how to prepare for Gardner's arrival, but also want to establish a program to set aside food reserves for future super-sized athletes.
A phone call to Prince Fielder's residence was not returned. An anonymous source close to Fielder said he mostly feared for his own life.
"Prince will be fine. It's the rest of us I'm worried about. When he runs out of food, it's only a matter of time until my body starts to look delicious to him. Frankly, I think it's in his capacity to consume the whole front office, maybe even the team."
(stock photo)
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