Milwaukee Ninja Attacks on the Rise

A 14-year-old Nicolet High School student got his dome cracked for taunting a machete-wielding 16-year-old ninja "protecting the land" behind the school. Fortunately, police think this was an isolated incident. It appears we're safe from ninjas. For now.

The students told police they were looking for a ninja after hearing that two girls walking through the wooded area the prior afternoon were confronted by a boy dressed as a ninja.

The victim split away from the group and was then confronted by the suspect, hit in the head with a 2-foot-long black metal machete and dragged down a hill. The suspect allegedly said he was "protecting the land." The assault took place on private property.

The Bayside boy, bleeding heavily from the head wound, made his way back to the high school. Police were called at 3:24 p.m. He was taken to the hospital, where his wounds require 20 stitches.

Lesson learned. Don't fuck with the kids that think they are ninjas. They are probably a little fucked in the head.

h/t loyal reader William.